April/May 2009
"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)
Golf Tournament Dates Set: Mark your calendars golf fans. The 1st tourney is Tuesday, May 19th at the historic & top five in the state "Hastings Country Club." The 2nd tourney is at the awesome lynx course "Loggers Trail" in
Bierstube Summerfest Tent Party! Date & bands set: JW's Bierstube in Oakdale is having our 9th annual Summerfest tent party Friday, June 12th and Saturday June 13th. Friday we're featuring the
Vikings Drop the Ball on Cutler Deal: The Vikings majorly blundered on the opportunity to acquire disgruntled QB Jay Cutler. With Cutler, the Vikings would've been pretty well set for the next 5 years for deep playoff pushes & legitimate Superbowl contenders. Barring injury, the Vikes are very solid at EVERY position with the possible acception of offensive line. Giving up the draft choices would have been much less risky than keeping them & not knowing what you're going to get (Especially with some of their recent past draft choices). See Troy Williamson, Erasmus James & overrated Bryant McKinnie, etc. Thanks again "Control Freak" Brad Childress for not pursuing a very likely top five franchise QB in Cutler, who at 25 years old is entering his prime & would have given us a legitimate Superbowl contender for years to come. Childress definitely doesn't like anyone who might actually question his decisions, which Cutler might do considering how he handled his new coach in
Vikings Smart in not giving up draft choices for Cutler: By not giving up two 1st round draft choices plus & players for the primadonna QB Cutler, the Vikings stay poised to make their continued steady improvement. By not making the deal it allows the Vikings a great chance at landing a blue-chip player. Two # ones & more would have been way too much for the pouting, brooding QB who doesn't even have a winning record & blew his chance at the playoffs last year with some very below average quarterbacking & even worse statistics in the clutch when the games really counted. Thanks again Brad Childress for keeping your head & not mortgaging our future by pulling the trigger on this tempting high profile baby. You not only deserve a raise, but also should have a lifetime extension to your contract.
UMD has Impressive NCAA Tourney Debut: thanks to Steve Nash impersonator, BEN WOODSTOCK of UMD almost willed his underdog club to victory against the amazing
Timberwolves Should Tank: The smartest move the Wolves could make is tanking their final games thus ensuring us a top 3 lottery choice in this year's draft. Just run your offense through Mark Madsen like you did a couple of years ago & we might just have a chance on a stud like Oklahoma's Blake Griffin or our own Minnesota grown Lurch look alike Cole Aldrich if he decides to go Pro early.
Twins Talk: The Twins win the division if they stay relatively healthy. The 3 major concerns are Francisco Liriano's elbow & Joe Mauer & Joe Credes backs. If the pitching stays above average & we can get some power production from Crede, Morneau & Cuddyer, our defense is so strong it's no wonder so many experts & publications have us winning the central division & contending for the World Series.
The Wild: Something has to give. Either conservative coach Jacques Lemaire or injury prone high flying Marion Gaborik or both will not be with the Wild next year. The contrasting styles of the two have grown to be way too big of a distraction for the team. This year, too little too late.
Tiger: We can finally watch golf again. Tiger wins in dramatic fashion again at Bayhill last week & obviously is poised for yet another major with the Master's coming up.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: "The Simpsons" have been on the air for a record breaking 20 seasons & will soon be honored with their own postage stamp!
Did you Know?: The Bierstube in Hastings has an elegant brunch EVERY Sunday (8:00 a.m.-Noon) in the "Raider Room" featuring a wide assortment of tasty treats & made to order omelets that come out fast, steamy hot & bountiful. If you haven't tried it yet, you'll be in for a very pleasant surprise. Great job by Manager Rob,
Give Me a Break: A Cheesehead, I mean a
Poor Babies: Despite athlete's salaries rising dramatically the past 3 decades, by the time NFL players have been retired 2 years, 78% of them either have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress because of joblessness or divorce. Many cite bad investments such as Rollie Fingers pistachio orchard, wind turbines & a stable of Arabian horses.
I'm Not Kidding: Former Buffalo Bills running back Travis Henry has fathered 9 kids by 9 different women. Henry (not surprisingly) has been jailed for falling behind in child support payments. It doesn't get much more pathetic than that.
Boys Will Be Boys: Purchased by the family of Mickey Mantle, a baseball autographed by the Hall of Famer with the inscription F--- Yogi. Mantle & Yogi Berra were Yankees teammates & were good friends, & the collector who sold the ball had no idea why Mantle wrote the obscenity. The family paid $2,750 to an auction house that was going to sell the ball to the highest bidder, presumably to keep it away from collectors.
I No Smart Much: Brian Orakpo, Texas defensive end explaining at the NFL combine why he'd be a good fit in any NFL scheme: "A versatile guy is a guy who can be very versatile." This reminds me of a football practice back in high school (1981) to be exact when I was tossing rock peddles at good friend Jerry Kane during calisthenics & "Dewy Dane," as he was known, turned to me & yelled, "Yanz, don't throw me with a rock!"
Kids Korner! While on vacation last month, our 4-year-old son Sam said out of the blue, "If both my arms were cut off I would just wave to people with my feet!"
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