August Blog

NEW MENU COMING SOON!!! The early reviews have been unanimous that the NEW MENU is the best menu since the incredible infusion of today's technology. Reason why, you'll have to wait until some time in August. "We hope you will like it as much as we do!"

 

Brett Favre: What, he's going to play for the Vikings?!! Can you imagine the excitement & hype for the missing piece of the puzzle? And of all people the Packers Brett Favre? Oh, it's not official yet? I can't wait to heckle the Cheeseheads when it happens.

 

Tom Terrific: The last time I rooted for a golfer as much as I did the 59-year-old (2 months from 60) Tom Watson was the 1986 Masters when Jack was back at 46 years old & won his 18^th major. I'm sure 98% of all golf fans felt like they got kicked in the stomach watching poor Tom bogey 18 the way he did & then fall apart like a Denny Green doughnut during their 4 hole playoff. Don't feel too bad about the classy Watson who already has 5 British Open Championships & 8 total majors, not to mention the oodles of prize money & endorsements over the years. This was Stewarts Cinks 1^st major & it will mean much more to and his family; but not nearly as much to the sports world who just missed out on perhaps the most unlikely Cinderella sports stories of ALL TIME!

 

Brett Favre: Had surgery & he's now testing his arm & working out with the high school kids from Hattiesburg? "Great, hope he signs soon!"

 

Michael Jackson gets appropriate goodbye: Michael Jackson became so unbelievably strange & bizarre the past 20 years it was only fitting that he receive a celebrity sendoff unlike anything we've ever seen. The only ones who didn't eulogize the odd gloved one was his pet Bubbles the chimp & Elvis. On a more serious note, Michael Jackson will now be judged by the only one that matters, God. No matter anyone's opinion of the disgusting allegations against him over the past several years, his innocence or guilt will only be known by his maker. I do not condemn nor do I judge anything that hasn't been positively proven. When it's all said & done, he'll be remembered for entertaining millions & the amount of charily he raised & helped raise (it's in the Guinness Book of World Records).

 

Brett Favre: Oh Ed Werder said there's a Brad Childress imposed signing deadline?! "Hmm…kind of interesting. It couldn't get here fast enough."

 

Prediction: UFC Fighter in a Coma or Dies: The UFC is barbaric & in serious danger of getting banned. If the UFC does not wake up & does not change at least a couple of rules (one in particular), they will close up faster than a Mike Vick dog pound. How can any league be ignorant enough & any state sanction a league that allows a person to jump in the air, ball up their fists with very little glove padding, & come crashing down fist to face on a completely unconscious person. Am I that stupid or is there that much widespread ignorance running &/or participating in this vulgar so-called sport? Change this as soon as you can or seriously risk major lawsuits &/or extinction.

Brett Favre: Filled his lawn mower gas tank with regular unleaded? Decided to tan himself on the roof of his barn with ONLY cutoff JEAN SHORTS? "This is getting weird."

 

Brett Favre: News Report! Brett Favre still hasn't signed. "Seriously?!"

 

Jim McArdle Pummels Hamm's Bear During Saints Game!: Partner & manager of JJ's Bierstube pulls sneak attack of local lovable legend Hammsy the Hamm's Bear. Witnesses claim McArdle even used an extra 20-pound bag of charcoal brickets to smash over the unexpecting bear's head. After a thorough pummeling, the brave bear resumed consciousness & easily flung the weak muscle head McArdle several feet in the air, chasing him throughout the Saints parking lot until the Mamby Pamby McArdle found refuge in a woman's outhouse for the remainder of the game. One onlooker who chose to remain anonymous said it was the most embarrassing & cowardly display by a so-called human that she had ever witnessed. Hammsy seemed to recover nicely, throwing out a perfect strike 1^st pitch & receiving a resounding standing ovation from the capacity plus crowd who came to see HIM.

 

Brett Favre: News Report! Brett Favre is still anguished about contemplating his anguishing decision of anguishing about contemplating to come back. "REALLY?!?!"

 

Buehrle Throws Perfect Game: Chicago White Sox's Mark Buehrle, with the help of one of the top 5 catches (in all of professional sports) in the 9^th inning of their game against Tampa Bay, throws the Major Leagues 13^th perfect game in the history of professional baseball. If you haven't seen it yet, it's worth googling.   

 

Brett Favre: National Enquirer reports that Adrian Peterson, Jerad Allen & Kevin Williams are texting Favre trying to pressure him to sign; & he picked his butt several times………………….with his right hand. Does center John Sullivan know that?"

 

Sports Fans! Are You Ready For Some Sports Heaven?! Can you imagine? Gophers football game against Wisconsin at TCF Bank Stadium October 3^rd, Twins final regular season game at the Metrodome against Kansas City October 4^th, Vikings against the Packers at the Metrodome Monday night, October 5^th,  & the Wild's home opener against Anaheim at the Xcel Energy Center October 6^th.

 

Brett Favre: Is close to signing? "OH GOODY!"

 

President Obama: Focus on your Country & your job! Quit seeking the limelight of celebrity, Hollywood, Major League Sports, ease up on the socialism, don't call your police force "stupid" for doing their job, it wasn't the cops that were acting racist.

 

Brett Favre: Brett Favre is really a woman? "That's it, I'm done!!!"

 

Kids Korner! A couple of weeks ago I took my boys to the drive-in movie. Somehow, I misplaced my wallet in the car. When it was almost time to pay for our admission, I told Max & Sam to duck down in their car seats. I found $10, so I had enough for 2 of us. Little did I know how incomplete I was with the boys' instructions. As I was saying, "One adult & one kid" to the attendant, Max pipes up, "No, no, Dad, there's 2 of us back here! Me & Sammy are both here!" Very sheepishly & red faced I explained my dilemma & luckily the nice guy said, "That's cool," & waved me in. Needless to say, as embarrassed as I was, I was proud of my honest & funny son for throwing me under the bus!    

 

Brett Favre: WHAT? Brett Favre says he just made the toughest decision of his life & he's choosing to stay retired? "I knew it all along! We"ll look forward to you changing your mind in September. JERK!!!"

June July Blog

June/July 2009

 

Bierstube Summerfest Tent Party! Date & bands set: JW's Bierstube in Oakdale is having our 9^th annual Summerfest tent party Friday, June 12^th and Saturday June 13^th. Friday we're featuring the East Side locals and HUGELY popular "UNCLE CHUNK" and Saturday the HOTTEST band in the state "HAIRBALL!" Mark you calendars now! For more details, call (651)731-8381.

 

Customer Appreciation Pig Roast Sunday June 14, NOON until it's gone! Complimentary succulent, juicy pig while it lasts! Fun, games & prizes for the whole family!

 

Kids Eat FREE!: JW's in Oakdale & JJ's in White Bear Lake just started kids east FREE on Tuesdays & Wednesdays. Check us out! Some restrictions apply. Other Bierstubes are also considering it.

 

Leonard Schaffer Memorial (LW's) Bierstube Golf Tournament: Is coming up fast! New date & time, Monday, July 27^th, Noon shotgun at River Oaks. Last years tournament raised more than $1,600! 100% of all proceeds go directly towards medical bills for Hannah O'Halloran. She is Leonard's great granddaughter & LW's manager Cindy's granddaughter. She is 2 ½ & was born very premature. She has accumulated unbelievable medical bills. If you are unable to participate in this very worthy fundraiser for her, but would like to help, please contact Cindy at (651)428-1361. Your participation &/or help is VERY APPRECIATED!!!

 

True Story: A Boston bar is serving an A-Roid cocktail: a shot of tequila with a spicy tomato juice chaser served in a syringe.  

 

Even Better True Story: ( from Sports Illustrated, Scorecard, May 11, 2009) "For the Record. Died at age 85 after suffering a stroke, former infielder Jack (Lucky) Lohrke. A .242 hitter over seven big league seasons, Lohrke was better known for the tragic circumstances that led to his nickname. Lohrke fought at Normandy and in the Battle of the Bulge. He emerged unscathed, but four times a soldier next to him was killed. When he shipped home in 1945, Lohrke was bumped form a transport flight at the last minute; the plane crashed, killing everyone on board. The next year, after he resumed his baseball career, Lohrke was traveling with the Class B Spokane Indians on a bus tip across Washington. During a stop for food, he found out he had been promoted to Triple A, so he took his gear and hitchhiked to Spokane. Hours later the Indians' bus crashed into a canyon, killing nine of his former teammates. He was called Lucky from that point on, though he never thought much of the nickname. 'I'll tell you this: Nobody outside of baseball calls me Lucky Lohrke these days,' he told SI in 1994. 'The name is Jack. Jack Lohrke.'"

 

Joe Mauer or Justin Morneau?: For the last few years, that was very easily Justin Morneau. He not only hit 3 times the homeruns as Joe, but also maintains a good average & produces many more runs. Now this year since Joe has been back, he's easily the choice, with his new found power, his .450 batting average & his incredible game calling & defensive skills make him (right now) the more valuable of the two. His month of May will go down as one of the greatest months by any player of all time. How much fun would it be if he flirted with .400 (alla Rod Carew in 1977) late into the season. If there's anyone in all of baseball that could finally do it, it would be him.  

 

Sir Francis the Jealous: Fran Tarkenton's recent remarks are not surprisingly negative towards the idea of Brett Favre in Purple. He talks about how "despicable his behavior & treatment has been to his long time loyal, dependable & supportive employers, the Green Bay Packers." He also says "I kind of hope it happens so he can fail." And if the Vikings do end up biting on the selfish Prima Donna that's not a team player because he supposedly has his own changing area, well God bless them. Fran, if he's such a bad guy & washed up player why do you care so much whether he comes back or not? With his advanced age & deteriorating skills, there's no way he can pass you in virtually any Viking statistical category. Oh wait, I did forget one King Kong category. Brett Favre could possibly help the entire Vikings organization by lifting the perverbally giant monkey off their backs & actually win a Superbowl. Let's see, Brett Favre one or two years with the Vikings & one Superbowl victory. Fran Tarkenton a couple 13/14 years with the Vikings & let me see, OH, ZERO Superbowl victories! Hmmm, it's all starting to become very clear to me. The scrambler is still as big of an egomaniac as he was in his playing days. And I'm not writing this just because in 1977, when I was a 13/14-year-old boy, he shunned me for an autograph at a secret exit at the old Met.  Even if the long time Packer Great is able to accomplish in one year what you weren't able to in 14 years, grow up Fran, it's just a game.   

 

Kids Korner! On Easter, we brought our pet bunny with to our aunt & uncle's house so the kids could take pictures with a bunny. All the kids were in the living room & Sammy was getting frustrated with his little cousin & says, with his hands up in the air, "No! He's not the real Easter Bunny! Does he look like he can carry eggs?"

April/Nay Blog

April/May 2009

"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)

 

Golf Tournament Dates Set:  Mark your calendars golf fans. The 1^st tourney is Tuesday, May 19^th at the historic & top five in the state "Hastings Country Club." The 2^nd tourney is at the awesome lynx course "Loggers Trail" in Stillwater. The tourneys are a 4-person scramble & like always a big steak dinner follows. Sign up soon & reserve your spot! Call (651)437-8259 or (651)731-8381 for the 1^st tourney or (651)773-5854 or (651)731-8381 for the second.

 

Bierstube Summerfest Tent Party! Date & bands set: JW's Bierstube in Oakdale is having our 9^th annual Summerfest tent party Friday, June 12^th and Saturday June 13^th. Friday we're featuring the East Side locals and HUGELY popular "UNCLE CHUNK" and Saturday the HOTTEST band in the state "HAIRBALL!" Mark you calendars now! For more details, call (651)731-8381.

 

Vikings Drop the Ball on Cutler Deal: The Vikings majorly blundered on the opportunity to acquire disgruntled QB Jay Cutler. With Cutler, the Vikings would've been pretty well set for the next 5 years for deep playoff pushes & legitimate Superbowl contenders. Barring injury, the Vikes are very solid at EVERY position with the possible acception of offensive line. Giving up the draft choices would have been much less risky than keeping them & not knowing what you're going to get (Especially with some of their recent past draft choices). See Troy Williamson, Erasmus James & overrated Bryant McKinnie, etc. Thanks again "Control Freak" Brad Childress for not pursuing a very likely top five franchise QB in Cutler, who at 25 years old is entering his prime & would have given us a legitimate Superbowl contender for years to come. Childress definitely doesn't like anyone who might actually question his decisions, which Cutler might do considering how he handled his new coach in Denver. Instead, he chose to stick with two mediocre QB's who are just happy to have a job & won't question his authority. Like I've always said, "FIRE CHILDRESS!"     

 

Vikings Smart in not giving up draft choices for Cutler: By not giving up two 1^st round draft choices plus & players for the primadonna QB Cutler, the Vikings stay poised to make their continued steady improvement. By not making the deal it allows the Vikings a great chance at landing a blue-chip player. Two # ones & more would have been way too much for the pouting, brooding QB who doesn't even have a winning record & blew his chance at the playoffs last year with some very below average quarterbacking & even worse statistics in the clutch when the games really counted. Thanks again Brad Childress for keeping your head & not mortgaging our future by pulling the trigger on this tempting high profile baby. You not only deserve a raise, but also should have a lifetime extension to your contract.   

 

UMD has Impressive NCAA Tourney Debut: thanks to Steve Nash impersonator, BEN WOODSTOCK of UMD almost willed his underdog club to victory against the amazing Minnesota grown Cole Aldrich & the Kansas high powered Jay-Hawks. Because of his 37 points, numerous assists & terrific ball handling, he shined bright enough to (rightfully so) warrant an invitation to the upcoming NBA pre-draft workouts. Congratulations to the overachieving, undersized local boy who would look very nice wearing his hometown Timberwolves colors. 

 

Timberwolves Should Tank: The smartest move the Wolves could make is tanking their final games thus ensuring us a top 3 lottery choice in this year's draft. Just run your offense through Mark Madsen like you did a couple of years ago & we might just have a chance on a stud like Oklahoma's Blake Griffin or our own Minnesota grown Lurch look alike Cole Aldrich if he decides to go Pro early.    

 

Twins Talk: The Twins win the division if they stay relatively healthy. The 3 major concerns are Francisco Liriano's elbow & Joe Mauer & Joe Credes backs. If the pitching stays above average & we can get some power production from Crede, Morneau & Cuddyer, our defense is so strong it's no wonder so many experts & publications have us winning the central division & contending for the World Series.

 

The Wild: Something has to give. Either conservative coach Jacques Lemaire or injury prone high flying Marion Gaborik or both will not be with the Wild next year. The contrasting styles of the two have grown to be way too big of a distraction for the team. This year, too little too late.  

 

Tiger: We can finally watch golf again. Tiger wins in dramatic fashion again at Bayhill last week & obviously is poised for yet another major with the Master's coming up.

 

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: "The Simpsons" have been on the air for a record breaking 20 seasons & will soon be honored with their own postage stamp!

 

Did you Know?: The Bierstube in Hastings has an elegant brunch EVERY Sunday (8:00 a.m.-Noon) in the "Raider Room" featuring a wide assortment of tasty treats & made to order omelets that come out fast, steamy hot & bountiful. If you haven't tried it yet, you'll be in for a very pleasant surprise. Great job by Manager Rob, Mary, Cal & the rest of the staff!  

 

Give Me a Break: A Cheesehead, I mean a Wisconsin High School, has banned the use of negative chants such as "Air Ball!" & "O-ver-Ra-ted" at basketball games!

 

Poor Babies: Despite athlete's salaries rising dramatically the past 3 decades, by the time NFL players have been retired 2 years, 78% of them either have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress because of joblessness or divorce. Many cite bad investments such as Rollie Fingers pistachio orchard, wind turbines & a stable of Arabian horses.

 

I'm Not Kidding: Former Buffalo Bills running back Travis Henry has fathered 9 kids by 9 different women. Henry (not surprisingly) has been jailed for falling behind in child support payments. It doesn't get much more pathetic than that.

 

Boys Will Be Boys: Purchased by the family of Mickey Mantle, a baseball autographed by the Hall of Famer with the inscription F--- Yogi. Mantle & Yogi Berra were Yankees teammates & were good friends, & the collector who sold the ball had no idea why Mantle wrote the obscenity. The family paid $2,750 to an auction house that was going to sell the ball to the highest bidder, presumably to keep it away from collectors.

 

I No Smart Much: Brian Orakpo, Texas defensive end explaining at the NFL combine why he'd be a good fit in any NFL scheme: "A versatile guy is a guy who can be very versatile." This reminds me of a football practice back in high school (1981) to be exact when I was tossing rock peddles at good friend Jerry Kane during calisthenics & "Dewy Dane," as he was known, turned to me & yelled, "Yanz, don't throw me with a rock!"

 

Kids Korner! While on vacation last month, our 4-year-old son Sam said out of the blue, "If both my arms were cut off I would just wave to people with my feet!"

Feb Mar Bierstube Blog

 

"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)

 

News, Notes, Facts & Opinions from the owner Jim Yanz (if you care).

February/March 2009

 

Bierstube Economic Stimulus Plan: Check out all of the great new & existing lunch and daily specials of all the Bierstubes. We all offer what everybody needs these days. A great meal at a REASONABLE price!

 

St. Patrick's Day: "Don't forget the Bierstube goes Irish one day a year! Check out our delicious corned beef & cabbage & green beer ALL DAY & ALL NIGHT! Check your local "Bierstube Pub" for their respective GREAT specials!  

 

Bierstube Summerfest Tent Party! Date & bands set: JW's Bierstube in Oakdale is having our 9^th annual Summerfest tent party Friday, June 12^th and Saturday June 13^th. Friday we're featuring the East Side locals and HUGELY popular "UNCLE CHUNK" and Saturday the HOTTEST band in the state "HAIRBALL!" Mark you calendars now! For more details, call (651)731-8381.

 

"SUPER" Superbowl: How would you like to have been a person who bet on a 15 to 1 shot that Rothlesberger scores the first touchdown of the game? First, they called it on the field correctly. Second, they CERTAINLY did not have video visual evidence to overturn that call, which they obviously did. Every video I saw his knee was never undisputedly down & the ref majorly blew that one just setting the tone for the rest of the terrible consistently bad officiating from start to finish. That cost the Steelers 4 points & several others hundreds of thousands of dollars on the 1^st score proposition bets.

 

Last "Super" Superbowl Officiating Blunder: Here it is, the biggest game of the year & the crappy officials don't take the time to have a booth review on Kurt Warner's last second supposed fumble. First Warner deserved a lot of credit for being able to keep such a great grasp on the football even though his arm was hit hard & was moving in different directions. Second, his grasp was very evident & his arm was obviously moving forward making that (by rule) an incomplete pass. Third, what a bad taste in our mouths on such a great Superbowl. I could have put up with the rest of the inconsistent officiating all game long if they just would have gotten that one right & how many of us would have loved to see the Cardinals have one  more chance at one last Hail Mary heave to Minnesota's own phenom Larry Fitzgerald. It would have been fitting & it would have been fair. With the magical year & record-breaking playoff performance by Fitzgerald, who knows? It might have been the Cardinals that got to go to the White House & Kurt Warner & Larry Fitzgerald to Disney World.  

 

A-Roid: Oakdale's great sports mind Franz is adamant on wanting, needing & justifiably seeing the other 103 names on that "steroid positive" list. I agree. Would anyone be surprised if Albert Pulholts, Jim Thome, Manny Ramirez or even baseball's & New York's darling Derek Jeter? They all should be revealed & there needs to be at least one of two things happen. #1 at minimum an asterisk next to any major league records that were broke during this time or #2 stricken these names who tested positive from the record books & simply have another record book that doesn't discriminate against anyone, no matter how big of cheater they were. While they're at it, list how many game seasons these records were made for instance, when Babe Ruth hit his 60^th it was during a 154 game season. When Roger Maris hit 61, it was during the 162 game season. It doesn't take up much room (like an asterisk) & it just makes sense.    

 

Winter Carnival: A couple of months ago, I received the great honor of choice to be this years Prince of the East Wind from Terry Furlong (Furlong Liquors) & the rest of the Royal Committee. Due to the time constraints, I ultimately (& very difficultly) had to forgo this wonderful once in a lifetime prestigious honor. I would like to take this time to thank Terry & the rest of the Winter Carnival Royalty for even considering me.  

 

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich: The scandal-ridden governor was removed last month by a vote of 59-0. Analysts say it's the most lopsided shutout since the Vikings last NFC championship.

 

Jose Conseco Boxer? Boxing wannabe Jose Canseco could manage only a draw last week in a three round bout against former "Partridge Family" star Danny Bonaduce. Despite the set back, the steroid slugger says he's ready for his next fight, against either Susan Dey, Shirley Jones or Florence Henderson. Since the fight, he has already turned down a match with Chloris Leachman stating "An unfair advantage that she would be in too good of shape following her dancing with the stars stint."

 

Two: 2 Consecutive 20 point road wins the Clippers last week, a first for the 39 year old franchise.

 

61, 52: Points scored by Kobe Bryant & Lebron James, respectively, against the Knicks last week in NY.

 

46: Years since an NBA team, the Warriors in December 1962, gave up 50 in back to back games.

 

76: % of the NBA players polled picked Kobe Bryant as their choice to take the last game winning shot attempt. The next closest was a few others at 3%.

 

99: % of the NBA Players & GM's I would think if they had to start a team & choose one player to build around it certainly would & should be Lebron James. As I've stated before he has a very good chance at becoming the greatest basketball player of all time!

 

200: This year marks the 200^th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth.

 

February 25: Lent starts early this year. Ash Wednesday is February 25, come join us at any of the Bierstubes for our excellent ALL YOU CAN EAT FRIDAY FISH FRY, featuring 3-4 ounce hand beer battered meaty Atlantic cod with fries, cole slaw & toast.

 

Darryl Strawberry: Recently claimed that he & other members of the 1980's New York Mets regularly had locker room trysts with fans during games. This was very risky behavior, as it severely cut into the Mets cocaine time.

 

Mike Tyson: Is coming out with his own tell all memoir. The former heavyweight champ was asked if it was an autobiography. He responded, "No I don't believe any of it as written in a car."!!! 

 

Bill Russell: Despite winning 5 league MVPs & 11 NBA Championships, Bill Russell never won a NBA Finals MVP Award. Starting this year the award will forever be called deservingly so the Bill Russell Finals MVP Award. 

 

Admission: I hope you find this Blog somewhat informative & maybe even somewhat entertaining &/or funny. If you strongly disagree with some of the opinions expressed, remember my wife Jodi types this & she is opinionated enough that it's very likely that she may have completely changed my correct opinion. If you're not napping already, thanks for your time & your welcome for your current or upcoming nap! Take care & God Bless!